Frakes Cat

I was talking to Dustin on the phone today (yay!), and I mentioned that someone had named their cats after two different Star Trek: The Next Generation characters. I said that if I had a new male cat to name, I'd name him Jonathan Frakes. You know why? Because if you put cat ears and whiskers on Jonathan Frakes...he looks just like every cat in the world.

My excellent Microsoft Paint skills aside (it just adds to the overall grace of this portrait), you can't deny. He looks...just like a cat.

T'Pau is More than Just a Crappy Band

"Amok Time"

...Dun Dun DA DA DA DA DA DA Dun Dun DA Da...

Uniformity

My favorite documentary is undoubtedly, "Trekkies," a film that takes a look at a cross-section of avid Star Trek fans. While there are several interviews with the cast members of The Original Series, The Next Generation and Voyager, the obvious stars of this film are the fans themselves: a slice of America's finest fringe individuals. Except for the ever-wonderful DeForest Kelley: the super-amazing television superstar. That guy was fucking awesome (he's dead, Jim). 

While Trekkies like Gabriel Koerner and his amazingly wonderful father are incredibly delightful and endearing ("Im ready to go to another planet, I'll tell you that."), Trekkies like Barbara Adams are incredibly disturbing and irritating. 

The story of Barbara Adams is not all that new. In fact, it's over fifteen years old. Everytime I see her, though, I'm insensed to write about her story and all of the reasons that she's just a little too ridiculous for her own good. I love fringe kooks more than the average individual and actively seek out documentaries that focus upon them in a very raw and plain way, but Barbara Adams....my my.

So basically, this woman lives in Little Rock, Arkansas as a book binder. She is the "Commander," of the Little Rock chapter of Star Trek's "Federation Alliance," a club that performs lots of community service, etc. Anyway, she is very excited about being the Commander and wears her phaser, tricorder, rank, and communicator all of the time. When I say ALL OF THE TIME, I mean it. So, it's all well and cute when you're just working at Sir Speedy and forcing your co-workers to call you Commander, but then she's selected to be a juror for the Whitewater Trial (remember that? yeah, me neither). So Barbara figures that jury duty is exactly the kind of event to wear your Federation Alliance Commanding Officer Uniform. Obviously, for the rest of the world, this causes a media uproar because this woman is wearing a Star Trek unform to the courthouse. Why? Let me tell you why.

Barbara, in the film, says that it is no big deal when a football or basketball player wears their uniform year-round, so why should it be a such a big deal that she wears a uniform from a pretend club from a fictional television show from thirty years ago to a trial that helps to decide the guilt or innocence of the cohorts of the President of The United States of America? Oh, I dunno Barbara, maybe for all of the reasons that I just mentioned.

First, football players don't wear their helmets, pads, spikes and jerseys to court. Just look at Michael Vick (horrible person, but a horrible person that isn't wearing a football uniform to court). Second, football and basketball players are wearing their uniform because it is a uniform that is a part of their paying occupation. Little Rock's Federation Alliance, I'm sure, makes a positive impact on Little Rock with community service and good deeds, but it is also a club...that doesn't pay you. Third, Star Trek is a television show. That's right, I know it's hard to hear, but it is. I know that Gene Roddenberry and the gang blazed some trails for equal rights and for treating people with dignity, even if they were green with horns, but ultimately, you wearing a unform from a ficitituous work to a trial. You've created lots of undue press with this act that trivializes the justice system, and you've made other Trekkies, that are able to love Star Trek within healthy and appropriate parameters, look like lunatics.

Barbara was ultimately removed from being an alertnate juror because she spoke to the press about her uniform, even though jurors are not supposed to talk to the press. Well, Barbara, I wonder what Captain Kirk and Captain Picard would say about that kind of rule-breaking, hmmm? A court-martial, perhaps?

Fun with Hydroponia!

One of the benefits of having a friend that lives far away is that when you see each other, you often have to catch up on a lot of things that've happened while you were apart, like holidays. I realized, the day before leaving for Charlotte, that Laura and I missed Christmas this year and that I still had her gift waiting for the next time that I saw her. This meant, too, that I would be getting a belated Christmas present. HOT DAMN!

So one of the first things that we did when I got to Charlotte on Wednesday afternoon was open our gifts. I was shocked to find that Laura had purchased an Aero Garden for me. YESSSSSS. This was a totally awesome Christmas present that made me feel bad about not getting Laura a totally awesome Christmas present, but then I felt really awesome because...I have an AeroGarden muthafuckas!

This is a gadget that I'd been wanting for some time, but I could never justify its purchase. I can, however, justify receiving it as a gift because I am a wonderful friend.

I learned from the instructions that AeroGarden is a really small hydroponic garden. (a quick definition: Hydroponics (From the Greek hydro, water, and ponics, labour) is a method of growing plants using mineral nutrient solutions, in water, without soil). Probably one of the coolest things that I've seen at a grocery store (because I think that grocery stores and their contents are cool) is the hydroponic lettuce growing at Giant Eagle Market District. To have the opportunity to grow herbs via this method in the comfort of my own home is pretty durn exciting if you ask me.

Here is my AeroGarden after setup (which was super easy):

The funniest thing about this, so far, is that the little cups look like Keurig cups with plants in them. The second thing that is funny about this whole setup is that because I have very nosy and mischeivous pets, I have to keep this in my bedroom on my dresser. So, not only will I have a neon light going for part of the day in my room, but eventually, my bedroom is going to smell like an herb garden. I'm not sure if I'm excited about aspect of the process, or not.

Most of the sprouts, including Mint, Dill, Genovese Basil, Oregano, Thyme, and Chives, will begin showing up at around seven days, and I'm looking forward to seeing their tiny little leaves shooting through the pretend soil and K-Cup. Supposedly, these plants are guaranteed (unless your cats get a hankering for Oregano), so I'm going to have more than enough herbs for one person.

AeroGarden also features flowering options, including this really fancy English Flower Garden. There's something incredibly futuristic about growing flowers in an environment like this that I kind of love/hate. It's like if you were growing flowers on the Starship Enterprise.

I'll bet that Scotty was probably secretly a wonderful gardener and florist. I mean, he is Scottish for Chrissakes.

Laura said that AeroGardens are already not being sold in stores any more, and I find that kind if disheartening. While most people that want to garden will find the opportunity to do so with soil and good old-fashioned sunlight, the opportunity for fresh herbs in an apartment at any given time of the year is totally tubular.

I fear, too, that the replacement seed-pod K-Cups will become scarce. That would be tres lame, considering what a seriously love-affair I've created with this machine in the last few hours. I mean, my gawd, it's in my bedroom.