Thursday, November 8, 2012

Black Metal Christmas

It's already November 9th and I'm just putting up my Christmas decorations. My husband hates it, but in order to fully enjoy Christmas decorations, they have to be up at least two months. I didn't make the rule it just is what it is. As I say this, we are watching a documentary called, "This is Black Metal," and Celtic Frost is currently covered in blood and dirt and singing about metal-y things like flesh and guts. This marriage is about give and take. Black Metal and Christmas. Or Black Metal Christmas. If you've never heard King Diamond's, "No Presents for Christmas," you must run to the interwebs and download it this very instant.
For anyone that doesn't know me, I love to collect post-modern Christmas decorations. Basically the ugly, ugly plastic decorations that are most likely full of lead and pain that causes seizures and erectile dysfunction (although that second one hasn't really plagued me). Pairing these ugly items with the basic ugly items that litter my apartment throughout the rest of the year is probably one of my favorite activities. If you can believe it, the Infant of Prague stays and the creepy head looms all the live-long day.

Sharing my collection with six people on the internet is fun for sure, but  much like my currently watching this back metal documentary, interspersing Dustin's interests with mine makes for a fun life together. Bottle brush trees and tiny robots go together swimmingly, anyway. 

No holiday is complete with embarrassing your family whilst showcasing your super sweet plastic Christmas shovel  .My parents really enjoyed when I forced them to wear someone else's clothes and pose for a picture in Gettysburg. ESPECIALLY my father. He wouldn't even wear rental bowling shoes when we were going bowling one time for my birthday. Admittedly, this is more about my perverse pleasure it distressing my father than it is about my Christmas shovel. Moving on...

This year I bought a champagne (it's pronounced cham-pag-in) glittery tree and covered it with totally twee bows. Personally, I blame Etsy for this. If it wasn't for that site, aqua wouldn't be such a big part of my life. Neither would birds or little doodads that make me squeal.

Garett's grandma had some of the coolest Christmas loot--including these awesome Santa candlesticks.

Don't miss the creepin' Santa head in the background.

Why do so many Santas look like Rummys?

I caught this grumpy cat under my Kitchen tree, or perhaps it should be called a Kitschen tree.

I've covered it in Norman Rockwell ornaments, teapot lights and sugarcube garland with the most adorablest button and corduroy tree skirt that ever lived.

That is, until the cats destroy it.

Christmastime is here. So that means its time for me to make a concerted effort to be a little nicer and be a little bit more human. Bill Murray will tell you all about it.

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  1. Your decorations are making me happy. Can you come to St-Jean-sur-Richelieu and decorate my apartment, pretty please?

  2. Nothing would make me happier than to be a professional Christmas decorator. As a bonus, I'd get to visit you!

  3. Everyone would be happy! What are you waiting for then?! It's time to take the "become a professional Christmas decorator" course from home! Only 48 easy payments of $299.99!

    1. You mean I could learn to decorate for Christmas for only 23948729384928374.82 dollars?! It's like they're practically giving it away. No pun intended

    2. Yeah, but you don't need it, you're already talented enough. So my advice: just skip the course and open your own business!

    3. I would love that! In between the cubes, it's something to do consider. We'll have to chat about how you got started.

  4. Do you pay a lot of attention to optimizing the content for search algorithms?

    1. Not especially. I'm just writing for a few friends and myself. I'm not really looking to make money.