Lately, I've been listening to the radio because something is wrong with my iPod and I haven't had a chance to take it to the geniuses or whatever they call those hipster assholes that work at the Apple store (See? I'm an equal opportunity asshole). Subaru was nice enough to put a radio control right in my steering wheel and I probably use this handy feature about three thousand times a day. Radio is utter crap. UTTER CRAP. That is, though, another post for another time. Anyway, I was tuning from one station to the other, when I was confronted with a song that makes me lose complete control.
When I say that, I should clarify. I like a lot of songs. In fact, I once started a list of my favorite songs and I think I got bored with it at like #150 or something. I sing a long to a lot of songs, even the ones I hate (I mean, I don't really LIKE Firehouse's "Love of a Lifetime," but I'm compelled to sing along, because at least it's not fucking Bruno Mars), but some songs, upon hitting my ears, make my body go into complete party-mode. When I happened upon this song today, I had no idea it was in this list.
Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz"
I almost wrecked the car today trying to completely rock-out to my fullest potential. After the song was over, I found that I must add it to the ever-growing list of songs that completely paralyze my ability to show any kind of driving decorum. They include,
Run To The Hills by Iron Maiden
Shotgun by Jr. Walker and the All-Stars
Play that Funky Music by Wild Cherry (the best, and only, thing to come out of Mingo Junction, Ohio)
You Dropped a Bomb on Me by The Gap Band (everyone tries to act like they're too cool to even like this song ironically, but I'm not ashamed to admit that this song is one of the most fun songs ever made)
Trick Me (E-Smoove House Remix) by Kelis (This is one that probably not many people outside of the gay community have heard and you owe it a listen. It's completely intoxicating).
E-Pro by Beck
Everyday is Halloween by Ministry
The Lebanon by The Human League
Black Sweat by Prince
Everybody Got Their Something by Nikka Costa (whatever happened to her? I mean Kesha is still on the radio and we haven't heard from this woman in a big way in forever!)
Faster Kill Pussycat by Paul Oakenfold, featuring Brittany Murphy (this song is probably completely auto-tuned, but I can't help but really enjoy how catchy it is and feel kind of sorry for the wreck that was Brittany Murphy)
A Little Less Conversation by Elvis vs. JXL
Groove is in the Heart by Dee-Lite (you're a completely rotten and souless human being if you don't at least tap a toe to this one)
Those are just the songs that I can recall from the front of my memory, but I'm sure when I'm riding in the car and I'm suddenly thrust into a serious club dance move (that I'll execute like the finest white lady driving a station wagon that you've ever seen IN YOUR LIFE), I'll have a few more to add to the list.