I am the worst gambler in the world. Why in the hell would anyone spend money on gambling? Why would you put money in a slot machine when there's a 1% chance you're going to get even a fraction of what you spent? Why doesn't everyone just give me their money and I'll probably not give it back? Gambling is the equivalent of throwing all of your money down the toilet and flushing. Maybe it all won't go down on the first pull...but chances are...by the second, it definitely will.
Rotten Dead Pool, though, has provided the only gamble I'm willing to take: the one that involves dead celebrities. So, you have a year from the date that you make your picks to have all ten of your celebrities die. Not that you win anything but the notoriety of being a celeb death-predicter, but even that is worthy of a fancy nametag or maybe a custom business card.
|1||Licia Albanese||Singer||Operatic soprano, La Bohème||22-Jul-1913||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|2||Beverly Cleary||Author||Children's author, Ramona Quimby series||12-Apr-1916||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|3||Pierre Cardin||Fashion Designer||Inventor of the "bubble dress"||06-Jul-1922||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|4||Zsa Zsa Gabor||Actor||Cop-slapping Gabor sister||06-Feb-1917||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|5||Joe Jackson||Relative||Patriarch of the Jackson family||26-Jul-1929||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|6||Tommy Lasorda||Baseball||Slim-Fast shill||22-Sep-1927||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|7||Lindsay Lohan||Actor||Mean Girls||02-Jul-1986||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|8||Andy Rooney||Journalist||60 Minutes' resident crank||14-Jan-1919||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
|10||Slim Whitman||Country Musician||Western singer, balladeer and yodeler||20-Jan-1924||TBD||12-Feb-2011|
There's no real science in this for me. I chose a series of old celebrities that I'd actually heard of, and then one wild card. As you can see, my wild card is Lindsay Lohn, but really with the life that she's been leading, it's hard to really even call it that.
I found it rather amusing that in the list of the most picked celebrities, Courtney Love was among Billy Graham, Kirk Douglas, and Fidel Castro (some really moldy oldies) with over 5,000 picks. Does everyone know something about her that I don't know? I mean, being an unattractive hanger-on isn't fatal, is it?
Lord Have Mercy. To Quote Pee Wee Herman, "I've seen better heads on boils."
Like the sick weirdo I am, I will be waiting with baited breath to see if my predictions come true. I'm thinking that if I will, my business card will have a cat Grim Reaper. That'd be pretty sweet.